We had a beautiful day to work with. The oppressive heat lifted--it cooled down to 96°. Rain was promised, but few clouds lived past 10:00.

If you've missed Zilker Park, you have a treat ahead. It's one of the largest and best maintained urban parks in the country. Giant trees, spring-fed pool, trails, and seemingly endless play fields contribute to Austin's generally green vibe. That, and the fact that a bunch of hippes moved here in the 60s and voted, then had kids, and we voted too.

Despite the beauty, the park collects a ton of trash. It sits on the west bank of Lady Bird Lake (formerly Town Lake), and the downtown area hugs the east bank. When it rains (or when the sprinklers come on), trash from Oklahoma and Houston wash into the lake. The city is very clean; the park is very clean; the city crews and most citizens work hard to keep all of it clean, but water attracts litter like a good country song attracts tears.

This time of year, the heat thickens the heavy duckweed in the tributaries fed by Barton Springs. The canoe rental is in such a mucky trib from which one paddles east to get into the deeper, clearer lake. While it's all clean enough to drink, one would not want to wade through much of that stuff or drink it. It tastes like strong tea without any sugar. It's also home to large turtles that bite, large fish that bite, and venomous snakes that bite, but only when stepped on. Like most Texas wildlife, if you leave it alone, you will be fine. If you mess with it, you will wish you hadn't. (That goes for the wildlife on 6th Street too, amigo.)

Have to love the urban lake, though. We saw blue herons, ducks, a 3-foot-long alligator gar (it's a fish), 4 lb. largemouth bass, dozens of sunfish and perch, and a HUGE snapping turtle. The turtle was easily 24 inches in diameter, and yes, I know "they do not get that big," but this one did and I was not going to ask him how. Mr. T[urtle] was about 1/4 mile from the old power plant--this may be a clue as to his size. It also could have been an illegally immigrated alligator snapper--they DO get that big.

After an hour and a half, our two canoes collected about 40 lbs of trash, and maybe 60 tennis balls. We threw the tennis balls to dogs along the banks that were patiently waiting for their people to do something else exciting. The dogs voiced their appreciation for the toys, and tried to give us lessons on how to paddle a straight line through wate. We, however, preferred to zig-zag across the lake.

Our canoeing skill was like watching a boozer operate a sewing machine. It was only a matter of time before someone left the work and went in the drink.

Of course, it was me first, followed by my beloved Janet, which is the way things have gone for the last three decades. She cannot handle being away from me for long.

I will not go too deeply into how we tipped over our canoe, but you can guess that horseplay was involved. Friends, it is half amazing how fast an aluminum canoe can flip over and send its occupants head-first into a lake.

I was, shall we say, caught off guard. I swallowed so much water that the city will send me a second tax assessment for being lake front property. This is also why I know that the water in Town Lake tastes like the aforementioned tea.

• Canoe rental: $30
• Dunked camera: $200
• Watching your parents fly out of a canoe: priceless
• Relieving lake of 40 lbs of trash: worth it.

Normal people paid $15/hour for a canoe. But we were special--we provided entertainment. Normal visitors to Austin talk about all the great people-watching. Now we know who they're watching. And the girl gave me $5 off for leading a bunch of do-gooders around the lake.

May need to do it again. Too much fun to ignore. God shined on us too. As you can see, the camera dried out and all the photos were saved. Jesus saves. ;^]'